Couples Blog
-
Observe, Orient, Decide, Act
Why borrow a military idea for your marriage? OODA stands for Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. Military strategist John Boyd created it to help people make good decisions when things are moving fast and the information is incomplete. Life as a first responder couple can feel like that: shifting schedules, stress that follows you home, and…
-
Communication that Cures Problems
When your partner is upset, the pull to fix it, explain it, or defend yourself is strong. It’s also usually what makes things worse. Most people don’t need the problem solved first. They need to know you understood it. Three things that show you understand The word “show” matters. Understanding your partner privately doesn’t help…
-
Why Couples Get Stuck in the Same Fight
If your car were stuck in sand, and you kept pressing the gas, you’d likely get more deeply entrenched in the sand and unable to get the car out by yourself. Sometimes we find ourselves pushing harder for our position, attempting to convince our partner to our view, only to cause the rift to deepen.…